As I watch the primaries unfold, I think I’m not the one one having flashbacks. Not solely am I flashing again to the utter horror of 2016, when the gloves got here off and all of the sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic Individuals obtained full permission to cease pretending to care about equal human rights for all and simply obtained outright abusive. I’m flashing again to feeling like I don’t belong in my very own nation anymore, that I would have to turn into a political refugee and escape to a safer nation. I’m flashing again to the attention that as I’m feeling that method, I’m additionally practically on the high of the privilege chain, whereas my BIPOC sister is feeling terrified of being lynched by offended mobs of people that dehumanize folks like her.

I’m flashing again to the Ladies’s March, the place I noticed all of the pink-pussy-hat-wearing 80+ 12 months outdated hippies carrying indicators that mentioned “Are We Actually Nonetheless Protesting This Shit?” I’m flashing again to the concern I felt in my very own physique of being a girl in a Trump-led nation and the concern I had of elevating a queer lady in a rustic the place half the folks listed below are prepared to miss Trump’s egregious morals with a purpose to keep their unearned privileges or profit financially.

Then I’m flashing again to 2020, once we have been already traumatized by the pandemic and the thought of 4 extra years of that form of dehumanizing hell, of being oppressed by my very own President and feeling unsafe in my very own nation, loomed massive. I didn’t understand how severely traumatized I used to be till Biden lastly won- and I noticed I felt like a home abuse survivor who had lastly gotten free from the stronghold of a violent partner- free, however cautiously so, as a result of it’s by no means only one harmful one who oppresses girls. The specter of violence is at all times within the rivers beneath our every day lives.

I’m flashing again to January 6- which is my daughter’s birthday, now eternally tainted- and the way terrifying it was, not solely to see footage of the foaming on the mouth, blood-thirsty insurrectionists threatening to kill senators and string up our Vice President, but additionally to see “religious white folks” on my Fb feed sure that what was taking place was God’s will and that Trump was some form of lightworker. The gaslighting was not solely complicated; it was terrifying. That somebody who claims to be “religious” would endorse racism, sexism, classism, xenophobia, homophobia, separating youngsters from their mother and father on the border, and different crimes towards humanity simply didn’t make any sense to me. Any spirituality that doesn’t stand 100% for human rights for all is just not spirituality; it’s brainwashing.

And so now I watch our former Abuser-In-Chief threaten to do treasonous issues, even within the wake of an $83 million judgment towards him for defaming a girl he raped, even within the wake of numerous lawsuits pending, I shudder to think about what life will likely be like a 12 months from now. I’ve ostrich components that simply wish to depart the nation, gap up in some village with no web, and wait till the entire thing is over, once I can determine whether or not to return again or not. 

And but, even that may be a mark of my unearned privilege. As a substitute, I’ll stick with my nation and do what I can to leverage my affect in any method I can to get folks to vote. Our very democracy is beneath siege, and though I hate that half my nation nonetheless is in denial concerning the racism, genocide, and corruption that underlies our nation’s origin story, I nonetheless imagine within the experiment of at the least an try at democracy. 

So I’ve components bracing myself. Right here we go once more. I’m attempting to not hate half of my nation, as a result of I do know they’re simply human beings like the opposite half. I prefer to imagine they’re brainwashed, and never simply unhealthy folks, however I don’t know at this level.

I’m uninterested in listening to folks name for depolarization, as a result of I believe it’s unrealistic. There was no solution to depolarize our nation earlier than the Civil Warfare. There would have been no solution to depolarize Nazi Germany. Typically, there’s just one proper aspect of historical past, and there’s no solution to meet within the center, as a result of the opposite aspect is solely flawed with regards to human rights- and in the event that they double down on their wrongness, we’re simply by no means going to discover a solution to make peace.

So we’re in a chilly conflict now- and the cold-heartedness is what I resist most. We’ve to maintain our hearts heat for one another, at the same time as we take agency and uncompromising stands for human rights for all. Certain, some folks are not looking for human rights for all, and they’re going to leverage their energy and privilege to battle to the top to take care of their energy and privilege. However we’re all nonetheless human beings, and it doesn’t assist to dehumanize those that dehumanize.

I maintain coming again to the quote of the late Paul Farmer, MD from Harvard:

“The concept that some lives matter much less is the basis of all that’s flawed with the world.”

I merely don’t wish to debate with anybody who doesn’t agree with that assertion. So I’ll shut this with a want for nervous system regulation- as finest you’ll be able to muster- within the upcoming months. For these of us who’ve been oppressed by narcissistic abusers up to now, these months will likely be brutal. The PTSD flashbacks are actual. So do what you’ll be able to…not as a bypass of our political actuality, however as a short lived respite when you will discover it.

As Civil Rights activist and Yale lawyer Valarie Kaur says, political resistance is like labor- “Breathe, then push.”

Might all of us take a breath.
Stroll in nature.
Cherish magnificence.
Learn poetry.
Sit in meditation.
Take heed to the wind.
Do a yoga pose.
Sing and dance and beat drums and luxuriate in music.
Make artwork and write about your emotions.

A part of me feels prefer it’s cowardly to take action, however I’ve mentioned sure to the invitation to show an IFS & Memoir writing retreat on an attractive island in Malta simply earlier than the election. It gained’t be a political workshop, however it will likely be a protected, courageous house to course of no matter could be developing for you. When you’re privileged sufficient to have the ability to afford to take action and you are feeling referred to as to hitch us, purposes are being accepted for a really restricted variety of spots. 

Apply for the IFS & Memoir Malta retreat right here.

Till then, breathe…After which…push.

Apply for the IFS & Memoir Malta retreat right here.